This book was highly recommend to me by Samuel Beals, who was Executive Director of Christian Counseling Center in Grand Rapids at the time. I have compiled a few selected quotes that will give you an idea of the book’s message.

“For a long time, there has been a cultural cover-up of male depression. Thank God that is changing. Finally, men are beginning to acknowledge that depression is part of their world as well. The myth is that men are not supposed to be weak. But depression is not a sign of weakness. The forces that help to create male depression also conspire to keep men from seeing it in themselves. Depression is the hidden, secret pain at the core of many men’s lives.”

“If secular men have problems confronting the reality of male depression, imagine how difficult it is for Christian men to concede it! For them, it isn’t just a matter of it undermining their masculinity, but it raises the question of whether they are failing spiritually. The myth in evangelical Christendom, where I belong, is that depression is a sure sign that you are defective in your reliance on God, that you are weak in faith, or, worst of all, that sin lurks in your inmost being. Men do get depressed. They don’t always realize it, but they do, and it is not a “failing” of any kind.”

“One very important reason why men don’t readily acknowledge depression is that depression itself eludes recognition. Its very nature is such that you can be depressed for days, even weeks, and you probably don’t detect it in yourself. The depression itself takes away our ability to be aware of its presence, just as it takes away our sensitivities in other areas.”

“But even if a male can see the signs of depression in himself, men are indoctrinated with a need to appear invulnerable. Owning up to depression has shaming consequences. The pain of shame far outweighs the more hidden pain of depression, so good-bye treatment!”

“Real men can, and sometimes ought to be depressed. Not to be depressed when the life moment requires it is to deny one’s humanness and deprive oneself of an opportunity to become healthier. Depression is a “healing emotion,” especially when you cooperate with it. Not to own up to your depression when you are depressed is to circumvent the emotional healing process God has designed into us. When men begin to own up to their depression and cooperate with its purpose, they achieve a greater level of healing for themselves. Denying the expression of one’s depression also puts you at increased risk for many other physical illnesses.”

“Generally speaking, men tend to act out their emotions while women feel their depression. Men hide their emotional pain through workaholism, anger, aggression, irritability, or substance abuse. Women are able to express their pain more directly, either by displaying it openly, like crying, or by verbalizing their emotions by talking about them. As a result, they “feel” the sadness and dejection in more direct ways.”

“Not only are men less likely to own up to or want to discuss depression, they are also less likely to seek professional help for it. Getting help for emotional pain falls into the same realm as asking for directions! The macho thing is to believe and say: “I’ll walk out of this on my own. I don’t need anyone to point the way, and I certainly don’t need anyone’s help. Besides, the average male has got all those wonderful “escapes” that can help to conceal his melancholy. They serve as antidotes or, more correctly, as forms of antidepressant that distract the male from his depression rather than curing it. These escapes are abundant and readily available in the male world. Male prophylactics for depression range from sports to sex and from work to “wheels.” Why do you think so many men love motorcycles—especially Harley Davidsons? Sporty cars? Sorry, guys! Men learn very early in life how to “mask” their depressions with anything that offers adrenaline excitement. A macho “I can lick this by myself” attitude also helps. For some, alcohol takes care of the problem just nicely! Taken together these factors increase the likelihood that serious male depression will go undiagnosed and untreated. Who suffers? Not just men. “Hidden” depressions devastate the loved ones of those who are depressed.”

“Depression is a common theme among great men in general, believe it or not. Of the more recent great men who have suffered from depression, Sir Winston Churchill has always stood out for me. Always the underdog and an almost total failure by the time he was in his sixties, he found his moment of destiny in history had come when he was chosen to help the British Empire withstand the onslaughts of Hitler’s Nazism. His father and five of the seven dukes of Marlborough, his ancestors, suffered from depression, a clear sign of its genetic causes. All his life he suffered spells of depression, sinking into brooding depths of melancholy—he called it his “black dog.” Every day he chiseled his way through his duties praying for the relief that never came.”

“What is even more encouraging to me is how some of the great saints of God have suffered from depression. Charles Spurgeon, the great British preacher of the latter part of the last century . . . seemed to understand the true nature of depression. One of his lectures to the young men at Spurgeon’s College, the seminary he founded, contains the following words of wisdom:

As it is recorded that David, in the heat of battle, waxed faint, so may it be written of all the servants of the Lord. Fits of depression come over the most of us. Usually cheerful as we may be, we must at intervals be cast down. The strong are not always vigorous, the wise may not always be ready, the brave not always courageous, and the joyous not always happy.

“A man of extraordinary humor with a laugh that could single him out in an enormous crowd, Spurgeon knew from personal experience the depths of despair. He knew that some suffered from depression while others didn’t and had a sneaking suspicion that there were reasons for this. Depression was not God’s judgment for sin, nor was he turning His back on a believer. It happened when one neglected oneself, when one was sick, when one was stressed out, when one didn’t get enough rest and sleep, when one was occupied in a sedentary lifestyle, when one was a “leader of men”—and sometimes for no discernible reason at all. ‘Causeless depression,’ he said, ‘is not to be reasoned with . . . . You might as well fight with the mist as with this shapeless, indefinable, yet all beclouding hopelessness.’ And all this came just from very carefully observing himself. It is about as accurate a description of the causes of depression as I have ever seen or could come up with myself!”

“I share this account of great men who have suffered from severe depression as an encouragement to those men who may feel that their depression is a sign of a totally wasted life. It is not! You keep company with some of the greatest human beings that have ever lived!”


Submitted by
Archibald Hart on 01.19.07